Savage Henry does Hops in Humboldt

Staff

It took the chief of police to get us in, but we made it into the Seventh Annual Hops in Humboldt beer festival just after the kegs were tapped Saturday in Fortuna. We had a bag full of Awards to give out, empty bellies and a dream.

The drama started last week when beer editor, Josh Duke, had his wallet stolen from his workplace. Without an ID we would have trouble getting in.

Fast forward to the day of the event and though I knew both the people checking IDs and the people throwing the event, I couldn’t get Josh in (understandable, those ABC fines are nothing to take lightly). So when I returned to the line I cussed out Fortuna, vowing never to return to the Friendly City and stomped around like the big hairy baby that I am.

My better half found out that if the Chief of Police said it was OK, then that would allow for Josh to enter. I searched and searched inside the event for the chief and soon found him. I explained our predicament, he gave me the once over and then said it was OK.

We were in.

Once inside we wasted no time, right into one of the lines in front of one of the 42 breweries.

It wasn’t just beer either. There was some game booths, vendors, a sunscreen station and some of the best food ever prepared for drunkards of all types.

There was also the bloodmobile. Thinking how odd this was, we approached thinking that whatever blood get donated will be filled with alcohol and get the recipient instantly tanked. The nice lady at the bloodmobile immediately corrected us, saying it takes two weeks to process the blood so the recipient won’t get hammered and that it’s OK to donate when inebriated and to self monitor to make sure you don’t pass out. We’re not sure, but telling someone who is drunk to self monitor is pointless, no? Anyway, needless to say, most of the donation chairs were empty because no one wanted to spend 45 minutes helping humanity with all that beer left to drink.

Back to the beer.

Here is a list of the award winners with notations from Duke.

The ShizNit Award (best at festival): Full Sail’s Black Session Lager. One of the best beers I had there. Clean, tasty, and best of all, different.
Editor’s Choice: Grand Teton Brewing Co.’s Bitch Creek ESB. Another amazing beer. malty, sweet, and complex.
Most Like PBR Award: Hoppy’s Liquid Sunshine. I can't think of anyway else to describe it.
Most Likely to be Purchased by a Girl Award: Moylans’ Stinson Beach Peach. Quite the unexpected entry from a brewery that specializes in knocking you on your ass with high gravity beers.
Night Night Award: North Coast Brewing’s Pranqster. Damn, that shit was heavy.
The Sour Milk Face Award: Uncommon Brewer’s Siamese Sour. Ick.

Honarable mentions:
Alaskan Brewing- Had the Amber, it was honestly kinda boring
Anderson Valley- Boont Amber - Good ole standby. I'll never get tired of the stuff
Big Sky - Moose Drool - The people that worked the booth there seemed more stoked about how their beer was in a can rather than what it tasted like. Still, it was OK.
Deschutes - Mirror Pond - This is the beer you bring to a dinner party when you're not sure what everyone likes. It's good enough to pass, but not daring enough to raise any eyebrows
Lagunitas - Wilco Tango Foxtrot- It's honestly the most bland beer of theirs I've ever had. Shoulda gone with the Hop Stoopid.
21st Ammendment - Hell or Highwatermelon Wheat - Stay away from this, it's ridiculous. Opt for the Black on Black IPA instead.

Other Awards:
Best Food: Sausage Lovers International.
Best Police Department: Fortuna Police Department
Awesome-est DJ: Stir Fry Willie.
Best Security: Diamondback Entertainment.

Final thoughts on the festival:
It was a very nice, well-run fun time. The beer didn’t run out early as it had in years past and at other beer festivals. Everyone behaved and I didn’t see any of that douche baggery that drinking for hours outside seems to bring out in some people. The music was good too. Also, the line social interaction became sort of a game. Bump into someone in a line, talk about beer then see them again a little later in another line and you catch up — about beer. Everyone was Jim Koch that day.

One complaint was how some of the breweries and their representatives bolted as soon as the taps were closed. Like gone, nowhere in site, see ya later. Half of the awards we gave out to empty tables.

Thanks Diana, Alicia, Chief Kitna, Diamondback, Stir-Fry Willie, all the food vendors who submitted their best for our judgement and beer. See you next year.